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Last Updated: January 2025
I recently read an article on Substack about Pilates. Well, not about the actual exercise, or the guy, but about the “Pilates Princess/long and lean” moment that’s happening on social media right now. It was really good, not judging the folks who were getting caught up in the trend. Instead, the author was breaking down where that “long and lean” desire comes from and what it says about us. Of course, I can’t find the article anywhere now (I’ll keep looking and I’ll edit this if I find it because it was GOOD).
One of the points of the article is that you should think about what your fitness goals are and then choose a workout or workouts that align with them. And maybe don’t get all of your fitness info from TikTok.
I read it right before heading out the door to my Pilates class.
I started going to Pilates about two months ago, after about three years in bed. When I say ‘in bed’ I mean that I was in my bed for about 18-23 hours a day, every day, for YEARS. On good days, I could sit at the table for a little while after the kids came home. On bad days, Adam had to help me make it from the bed to the toilet. My fitness goals were to have the stamina to make it up the stairs and hug my kids.
I frequently fell short of that goal.
So I’m not worried about long and lean. I have no thoughts on “muscle mommies vs. pilates princesses” except that the framing and verbiage are bullshit and reek of misogyny. When my new medication made it possible for me to get out of bed and stay out of bed for whole, entire, complete HOURS at a time I felt like a damn super hero.
And I immediately wanted more.
If you knew me in the before times, you’d be forgiven for falling off of your chair and quite literally rolling around of the floor shrieking with laughter while tears fall down your face. It is that preposterous. I never understood folks who enjoyed exercise. I still don’t understand why or how I enjoy exercise. I’m just grudgingly admitting that it’s true.
I go to Pilates. I go a lot (about 5x a week). And I like it.
I like that it’s doable for me. I started going only to the classes centered around gentle stretching. I’d be sore afterward as if I’d done a full workout. Which made sense after three years of absolutely nothing. I’d take hot showers or soak in the bathtub. And it felt good to experience pain that was generative. This pain is because I DID SOMETHING, not simply because I’m getting screwed over by the universe.
But then, one day, I wasn’t sore. (Well, I wasn’t sore beyond my chronic pain.) And I missed that. So I signed up for one of the exercise classes. And I found the sore again. So I kept going. Now I listen to my body and there are three different levels of classes that I mix and match throughout my week.
I like the folks who go to my studio and the folks who teach there. I’m hardly ever the only Black woman and I don’t think I’ve ever been the only woman of color. There are always fat folks in the studio. There are fat instructors. YES, PLURAL. I like the older women with the foul mouths who could probably kick my ass, but instead are super supportive. I like the injured athletes from the local college and the heavily tattooed Muay Thai fighters who are there as part of their PT. I like the first-timers who are all stops and starts and questions and I like that I can answer some of those questions, now.
I really like that what I hear most from my instructors is “you know your body” because yeah, I DO.
I like that they find ways to push us just a little bit farther without ever shaming us.
I like that we all celebrate things like when someone can finally do a roll up after trying for months or the first time I was able to hold a plank for a full minute.
My goal is to keep feeling better, to keep feeling stronger, to (please, please, PLEASE) be able to stay out of that damn bed.* My goal is to make it through one of Alyse’s classes without needing any modifications. My goal is to be able to walk to class from my house, and back, by the end of November. **
I wish that the folks who are getting sucked into the ‘Pilates Princess’ trend could instead find a studio like ours, or a gym, or a group of friends working out in the park, or anything else. I wish for them the feeling of strength and control, camaraderie and calm, support and silliness that I get at my studio.
I haven’t gotten long and lean.
I don’t feel like a princess.
I always walk out feeling better than when I walked in.
That’s goals.
* I DID IT! I walked to class, took class, and I walked home. I felt like such a badass.
** Since I first wrote this I was reinfected with Covid (not at my studio) and I haven’t been to class in over a month. I’m not fully stuck in bed, but I’m there much more than I’d like. And while I miss classes so much I’m also so grateful because I’ve gotten calls and texts from my people encouraging me to take care of myself, not to push, and reminding me that they’re thinking of me.
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