Privacy Policy Consent

WholeHumanMama.com and GraemeSeabrook.com is owned by Graeme Seabrook (“Company”, “we”, or “us”). The term “you” refers to the user or viewer of WholeHumanMama.com and GraemeSeabrook.com (“Website”).

This Privacy Policy describes how we collect, use, process, and distribute your information, including Personal Data (as defined below) used to access this Website. We will not use or share your information with anyone except as described in this Privacy Policy. The use of information collected through our Sites shall be limited to the purposes under this Privacy Policy and our Terms of Service to customers.

Please read this Privacy Policy carefully. We reserve the right to change this Privacy Policy on the Website at any time without notice. In the event of a material change, we will let you know via email and/or a prominent notice on our Website.

Use of any personal information or contribution that you provide to us, or which is collected by us on or through our Website or its content is governed by this Privacy Policy. By using our Website or its content, you consent to this Privacy Policy, whether or not you have read it.

Information We May Collect
We collect personal information from you so that we can provide you with a positive experience when utilizing our Website or content. We will only collect the minimum amount of information necessary for us to fulfill our obligation to you. We may collect:

  • A name and an email address so we can deliver our emails to you — you would be affirmatively consenting to this by providing this to us in our contact forms.
  • Billing information including name, address, and credit card information so that we can process payment to deliver our products or services to you under our contractual obligation.
  • A name and an email address if you complete our contact form with a question. We may send you marketing emails with either your consent or if we believe we have a legitimate interest to contact you based on your contact or question.
  • Information from you from a co-branded offer. In this case, we will make clear as to who is collecting the information and whose privacy policy applies. If both / all parties are retaining the information you provide, this will also be made clear as will links to all privacy policies.

Please note that the information above (“Personal Data”) that you are giving to us is voluntarily, and by providing this information to us, you are giving consent for us to use, collect, and process this Personal Data. You are welcome to opt-out or request for us to delete your Personal Data at any point by contacting us at graeme@graemeseabrook.com

If you choose not to provide us with certain Personal Data, you may not be able to participate in certain aspects of our Website or content.

Other Information We May Collect:

Anonymous Data Collection and Use
To maintain Website quality, we may use your IP address to help diagnose problems with our server, to administer the Website by identifying which areas of the Website are most heavily used, and to display content according to your preferences. Your IP address is the number assigned to computers connected to the Internet. This is essentially “traffic data” which cannot personally identify you but is helpful to us for marketing purposes and for improving our services. Traffic data collection does not follow a user’s activities on any other websites in any way. Anonymous traffic data may also be shared with business partners and advertisers on an aggregate basis.

Use of “Cookies”
We may use the standard “cookies” feature of major web browsers. We do not set any personally identifiable information in cookies, nor do we employ any data-capture mechanisms on our Website other than cookies. You may choose to disable cookies through your own web browser’s settings. However, disabling this function may diminish your experience on our Website and some features may not work as intended.

What We Do With Information We Collect

Contact You

We may contact you with information that you provide to us based on these lawful grounds for processing:

  • We may contact you if you give us your clear, unambiguous, affirmative consent to contact you.
  • We will contact you under our contractual obligation to deliver goods or services you purchase from us.
  • Legitimate Interest. We may contact you if we feel you have a legitimate interest in hearing from us. For example, if you sign up for a webinar, we may send you marketing emails based on the content of that webinar.  You will always have the option to opt out of any of our emails.

Process Payments
We will use the Personal Data you give to us in order to process your payment for the purchase of goods or services under a contract. We only use third party payment processors that take the utmost care in securing data and comply with the GDPR.

Targeted Social Media Advertisements
We may use the data you provide to us to run social media advertisements and / or create look-alike audiences for advertisements.

Share with Third Parties
We may share your information with trusted third parties such as our newsletter provider in order to contact you via email, our merchant accounts to process payments, and Google / social media accounts in order to run advertisements and our affiliates.

Viewing by Others
Note that whenever you voluntarily make your Personal Data available for viewing by others online through this Website or its content, it may be seen, collected and used by others, and therefore, we cannot be responsible for any unauthorized or improper use of the information that you voluntarily share (i.e., sharing a comment on a blog post, posting in a Facebook group that we manage, sharing details on a group coaching call, etc.).

Submission, Storage, Sharing and Transferring of Personal Data
Personal Data that you provide to us is stored internally or through a data management system. Your Personal Data will only be accessed by those who help to obtain, manage, or store that information, or who have a legitimate need to know such Personal Data (i.e., our hosting provider, newsletter provider, payment processors, or team members).

It is important to note that we may transfer data internationally. For users in the European Union, please be aware that we transfer Personal Data outside of the European Union. By using our Website and providing us with your Personal Data, you consent to these transfers in accordance with this Privacy Policy.

Data Retention
We retain your Personal Data for the minimum amount of time necessary to provide you with the information and / or services that you requested from us. We may include certain Personal Data for longer periods of time if necessary for legal, contractual, and accounting obligations.

Confidentiality
We aim to keep the Personal Data that you share with us confidential. Please note that we may disclose such information if required to do so by law or in the good-faith belief that: (1) such action is necessary to protect and defend our rights or property or those of our users or licensees, (2) to act as immediately necessary in order to protect the personal safety or rights of our users or the public, or (3) to investigate or respond to any real or perceived violation of this Privacy Policy or of our Disclaimer, Terms and Conditions, or any other terms of use or agreement with us.

Passwords
To use certain features of the Website or its content, you may need a username and password. You are responsible for maintaining the confidentiality of the username and password, and you are responsible for all activities, whether by you or by others, that occur under your username or password and within your account. We cannot and will not be liable for any loss or damage arising from your failure to protect your username, password, or account information. If you share your username or password with others, they may be able to obtain access to your Personal Data at your own risk.

You agree to notify us immediately of any unauthorized or improper use of your username or password or any other breach of security. To help protect against unauthorized or improper use, make sure that you log out at the end of each session requiring your username and password.

We will use our best efforts to keep your username and password(s) private and will not otherwise share your password(s) without your consent, except as necessary when the law requires it or in the good faith belief that such action is necessary, particularly when disclosure is necessary to identify, contact, or bring legal action against someone who may be causing injury to others or interfering with our rights or property.

How You Can Access, Update, or Delete Your Personal Data

You have the right to:

  • Request information about how your Personal Data is being used and request a copy of what Personal Data we use.
  • Restrict processing if you think the Personal Data is not accurate, unlawful, or no longer needed.
  • Rectify or erase Personal Data and receive confirmation of the rectification or erasure. (You have the “right to be forgotten.”)
  • Withdraw your consent at any time to the processing of your Personal Data.
  • Lodge a complaint with a supervisory authority if you feel we are using your Personal Data unlawfully.
  • Receive Personal Data portability and transference to another controller without our hindrance.
  • Object to our use of your Personal Data.
  • Not be subject to an automated decision based solely on automatic processing, including profiling, which legally or significantly affects you.

You may unsubscribe from our emails or updates at any time through the unsubscribe link at the footer of all email communications. If you have questions or are experiencing problems unsubscribing, please contact us at graeme@graemeseabrook.com

Security
We take commercially reasonable steps to protect the Personal Data you provide to us from misuse, disclosure, or unauthorized access. We only share your Personal Data with trusted third parties who use the same level of care in processing your Personal Data. That being said, we cannot guarantee that your Personal Data will always be secure due to technology or security breaches. Should there be a data breach of which we are aware, we will inform you immediately.

Anti-Spam Policy
We have a no spam policy and provide you with the ability to opt-out of our communications by selecting the unsubscribe link at the footer of all emails. We have taken the necessary steps to ensure that we are compliant with the CAN-SPAM Act of 2003 by never sending out misleading information. We will not sell, rent, or share your email address.

Third Party Websites
We may link to other websites on our Website. We have no responsibility or liability for the content and activities of any other individual, company, or entity whose website or materials may be linked to our Website or its content, and thus we cannot be held liable for the privacy of the information on their website or that you voluntarily share with their website. Please review their privacy policies for guidelines as to how they respectively store, use, and protect the privacy of your Personal Data.

Children’s Online Privacy Protection Act Compliance
We do not collect any information from anyone under 18 years of age in compliance with COPPA (Children’s Online Privacy Protection Act) and the GDPR (General Data Protection Regulation of the EU). Our Website and its content is directed to individuals who are at least 18 years old or older.

Notification of Changes
We may use your Personal Data, such as your contact information, to inform you of changes to the Website or its content, or, if requested, to send you additional information about us. We reserve the right, at our sole discretion, to change, modify, or otherwise alter our Website, its content, and this Privacy Policy at any time. Such changes and/or modifications shall become effective immediately upon posting our updated Privacy Policy. Please review this Privacy Policy periodically. Continued use of any of information obtained through or on the Website or its content following the posting of changes and/or modifications constituted acceptance of the revised Privacy Policy. Should there be a material change to our Privacy Policy, we will contact you via email or by a prominent note on our Website.

Data Controller and Processors
We are the data controllers as we are collecting and using your Personal Data. We use trusted third parties as our data processors for technical and organizational purposes, including for payments and email marketing. We use reasonable efforts to make sure our data processors are GDPR-compliant.If you have any questions about this Privacy Policy, please contact us at graeme@graemeseabrook.com

Last Updated: January 2025

My Mother Never Hit Me

My deepest fear is that either of my children will ever feel about me the way I feel about her.
January 17, 2025

Original publish date: 12/30/24

Trigger Warning: Discussion of self-harm

I took a deep breath, leaned my head against the wall of the hallway outside my bedroom, and slowly brought my head back and then forward into the wall once, twice, three times. My husband’s form appeared in my peripheral vision, his hand hovered at my shoulder, his fear and worry touching me before the flesh did. 

I didn’t look at him. Couldn’t. Incoherent screaming echoed in my head and if I looked at him, it would come pouring from my mouth. I backed away from the wall so he knew I wouldn’t hurt myself again. It was all the reassurance I could muster. 

From downstairs came the voice of my mother reading a story to my son. At 11 he’s probably too old for bedtime stories, but he’ll never tell her that. She’s his Meme and he adores her. Her voice scrapes my nerves raw and makes me want to break things. But he doesn’t know that. 

My mother never hit me. Not that she didn’t want to. There were times when I could clearly see the desire written all over her face; violence squishing through her closed fist like Play-Doh. 

My grandmother beat my mother. So did my grandfather. They did it as discipline and not with any glee — if that matters. (I want to believe that it does, but wanting doesn’t make it so.)

My mother never set out to break that cycle, but my father was firm on that point. No hitting. No spanking. No raised hands ever. And so there weren’t. It was “just” words. To be honest, I don’t even remember the actual words as much as the screeching, hateful tone. She hated me. Frequently. I cost money she didn’t have, took up time she didn’t have, was an ungrateful shit — and she didn’t know what the fuck was wrong with me. (Oh look! I do remember the words. Yay.) I was six or seven, so I don’t know what was wrong with me either. 

I’m 45 now. I know exactly what is wrong with me. I could write you an extremely detailed, annotated list on exactly what is wrong with me and the many and varied theories as to why each specific thing is wrong with me. Mine is not an unexamined life. As I’m writing this the things most wrong with me are: I’m chronically ill, I’m dealing with a contractor who is allergic to organization and planning, both of my children are struggling with anxiety, and my mother is in my house. 

I don’t like her. And she’s 80. And I’m an only child. It is what it is. 

I don’t know that we break generational curses so much as we wear them down. 

Banging my head on the wall felt good. Well, it hurt like hell, but it was a pain that made sense. I’ve always had a deep fear of self-harm, because it seems eminently logical to me. I didn’t stop the banging because it hurt, but because I was scared by how it helped. And I could feel my husband’s worry fill the hallway like smoke. So, I stopped. 

Before the banging I was trying to figure out my 8-year-old’s reaction to a question I’d asked her earlier. I won’t give details here because it’s not only my story to tell. Suffice to say, her anxiety reaction is freeze. Mine was always fight. And so I don’t always recognize when her reaction is rooted in anxiety. 

I am as mystified at her reaction to me asking her a question as my mother was to my reaction to her screaming. We both have the same thought in the moment - it isn’t anywhere near as “bad” as what I went through, so what could she possibly be freaking out about? 

I don’t know that we break generational curses so much as we wear them down. We grow and push ourselves up out of the dirt and the muck, lifting our heads toward the fresh air and stretching out our arms until they burn so we can place our children as high up the hill as possible. And even up in all that fresh air and sunshine, the curse isn’t broken. The healing isn’t complete. And our children will have to climb out of the muck we create and stretch their own children even higher. 

This was simpler in myriad ways before my mother was here, in my house. She’ll be here for the next two weeks until her furniture arrives and she can move into her new apartment. And then she’ll be living 10 minutes away from me six years after I moved 1,600 miles away from her. 

My children are thrilled. To them, she is a story reader and card game player, hugs and presents and applause. To me she is screeching demand, a never-ending void filled and filling with need. My deepest fear in my darkest moment is that either of my children will ever feel about me the way I feel about her. 

I know she’ll say she did the best she could. 

She probably did. 

I am. 

Shit.

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