Privacy Policy Consent

WholeHumanMama.com and GraemeSeabrook.com is owned by Graeme Seabrook (“Company”, “we”, or “us”). The term “you” refers to the user or viewer of WholeHumanMama.com and GraemeSeabrook.com (“Website”).

This Privacy Policy describes how we collect, use, process, and distribute your information, including Personal Data (as defined below) used to access this Website. We will not use or share your information with anyone except as described in this Privacy Policy. The use of information collected through our Sites shall be limited to the purposes under this Privacy Policy and our Terms of Service to customers.

Please read this Privacy Policy carefully. We reserve the right to change this Privacy Policy on the Website at any time without notice. In the event of a material change, we will let you know via email and/or a prominent notice on our Website.

Use of any personal information or contribution that you provide to us, or which is collected by us on or through our Website or its content is governed by this Privacy Policy. By using our Website or its content, you consent to this Privacy Policy, whether or not you have read it.

Information We May Collect
We collect personal information from you so that we can provide you with a positive experience when utilizing our Website or content. We will only collect the minimum amount of information necessary for us to fulfill our obligation to you. We may collect:

  • A name and an email address so we can deliver our emails to you — you would be affirmatively consenting to this by providing this to us in our contact forms.
  • Billing information including name, address, and credit card information so that we can process payment to deliver our products or services to you under our contractual obligation.
  • A name and an email address if you complete our contact form with a question. We may send you marketing emails with either your consent or if we believe we have a legitimate interest to contact you based on your contact or question.
  • Information from you from a co-branded offer. In this case, we will make clear as to who is collecting the information and whose privacy policy applies. If both / all parties are retaining the information you provide, this will also be made clear as will links to all privacy policies.

Please note that the information above (“Personal Data”) that you are giving to us is voluntarily, and by providing this information to us, you are giving consent for us to use, collect, and process this Personal Data. You are welcome to opt-out or request for us to delete your Personal Data at any point by contacting us at graeme@graemeseabrook.com

If you choose not to provide us with certain Personal Data, you may not be able to participate in certain aspects of our Website or content.

Other Information We May Collect:

Anonymous Data Collection and Use
To maintain Website quality, we may use your IP address to help diagnose problems with our server, to administer the Website by identifying which areas of the Website are most heavily used, and to display content according to your preferences. Your IP address is the number assigned to computers connected to the Internet. This is essentially “traffic data” which cannot personally identify you but is helpful to us for marketing purposes and for improving our services. Traffic data collection does not follow a user’s activities on any other websites in any way. Anonymous traffic data may also be shared with business partners and advertisers on an aggregate basis.

Use of “Cookies”
We may use the standard “cookies” feature of major web browsers. We do not set any personally identifiable information in cookies, nor do we employ any data-capture mechanisms on our Website other than cookies. You may choose to disable cookies through your own web browser’s settings. However, disabling this function may diminish your experience on our Website and some features may not work as intended.

What We Do With Information We Collect

Contact You

We may contact you with information that you provide to us based on these lawful grounds for processing:

  • We may contact you if you give us your clear, unambiguous, affirmative consent to contact you.
  • We will contact you under our contractual obligation to deliver goods or services you purchase from us.
  • Legitimate Interest. We may contact you if we feel you have a legitimate interest in hearing from us. For example, if you sign up for a webinar, we may send you marketing emails based on the content of that webinar.  You will always have the option to opt out of any of our emails.

Process Payments
We will use the Personal Data you give to us in order to process your payment for the purchase of goods or services under a contract. We only use third party payment processors that take the utmost care in securing data and comply with the GDPR.

Targeted Social Media Advertisements
We may use the data you provide to us to run social media advertisements and / or create look-alike audiences for advertisements.

Share with Third Parties
We may share your information with trusted third parties such as our newsletter provider in order to contact you via email, our merchant accounts to process payments, and Google / social media accounts in order to run advertisements and our affiliates.

Viewing by Others
Note that whenever you voluntarily make your Personal Data available for viewing by others online through this Website or its content, it may be seen, collected and used by others, and therefore, we cannot be responsible for any unauthorized or improper use of the information that you voluntarily share (i.e., sharing a comment on a blog post, posting in a Facebook group that we manage, sharing details on a group coaching call, etc.).

Submission, Storage, Sharing and Transferring of Personal Data
Personal Data that you provide to us is stored internally or through a data management system. Your Personal Data will only be accessed by those who help to obtain, manage, or store that information, or who have a legitimate need to know such Personal Data (i.e., our hosting provider, newsletter provider, payment processors, or team members).

It is important to note that we may transfer data internationally. For users in the European Union, please be aware that we transfer Personal Data outside of the European Union. By using our Website and providing us with your Personal Data, you consent to these transfers in accordance with this Privacy Policy.

Data Retention
We retain your Personal Data for the minimum amount of time necessary to provide you with the information and / or services that you requested from us. We may include certain Personal Data for longer periods of time if necessary for legal, contractual, and accounting obligations.

Confidentiality
We aim to keep the Personal Data that you share with us confidential. Please note that we may disclose such information if required to do so by law or in the good-faith belief that: (1) such action is necessary to protect and defend our rights or property or those of our users or licensees, (2) to act as immediately necessary in order to protect the personal safety or rights of our users or the public, or (3) to investigate or respond to any real or perceived violation of this Privacy Policy or of our Disclaimer, Terms and Conditions, or any other terms of use or agreement with us.

Passwords
To use certain features of the Website or its content, you may need a username and password. You are responsible for maintaining the confidentiality of the username and password, and you are responsible for all activities, whether by you or by others, that occur under your username or password and within your account. We cannot and will not be liable for any loss or damage arising from your failure to protect your username, password, or account information. If you share your username or password with others, they may be able to obtain access to your Personal Data at your own risk.

You agree to notify us immediately of any unauthorized or improper use of your username or password or any other breach of security. To help protect against unauthorized or improper use, make sure that you log out at the end of each session requiring your username and password.

We will use our best efforts to keep your username and password(s) private and will not otherwise share your password(s) without your consent, except as necessary when the law requires it or in the good faith belief that such action is necessary, particularly when disclosure is necessary to identify, contact, or bring legal action against someone who may be causing injury to others or interfering with our rights or property.

How You Can Access, Update, or Delete Your Personal Data

You have the right to:

  • Request information about how your Personal Data is being used and request a copy of what Personal Data we use.
  • Restrict processing if you think the Personal Data is not accurate, unlawful, or no longer needed.
  • Rectify or erase Personal Data and receive confirmation of the rectification or erasure. (You have the “right to be forgotten.”)
  • Withdraw your consent at any time to the processing of your Personal Data.
  • Lodge a complaint with a supervisory authority if you feel we are using your Personal Data unlawfully.
  • Receive Personal Data portability and transference to another controller without our hindrance.
  • Object to our use of your Personal Data.
  • Not be subject to an automated decision based solely on automatic processing, including profiling, which legally or significantly affects you.

You may unsubscribe from our emails or updates at any time through the unsubscribe link at the footer of all email communications. If you have questions or are experiencing problems unsubscribing, please contact us at graeme@graemeseabrook.com

Security
We take commercially reasonable steps to protect the Personal Data you provide to us from misuse, disclosure, or unauthorized access. We only share your Personal Data with trusted third parties who use the same level of care in processing your Personal Data. That being said, we cannot guarantee that your Personal Data will always be secure due to technology or security breaches. Should there be a data breach of which we are aware, we will inform you immediately.

Anti-Spam Policy
We have a no spam policy and provide you with the ability to opt-out of our communications by selecting the unsubscribe link at the footer of all emails. We have taken the necessary steps to ensure that we are compliant with the CAN-SPAM Act of 2003 by never sending out misleading information. We will not sell, rent, or share your email address.

Third Party Websites
We may link to other websites on our Website. We have no responsibility or liability for the content and activities of any other individual, company, or entity whose website or materials may be linked to our Website or its content, and thus we cannot be held liable for the privacy of the information on their website or that you voluntarily share with their website. Please review their privacy policies for guidelines as to how they respectively store, use, and protect the privacy of your Personal Data.

Children’s Online Privacy Protection Act Compliance
We do not collect any information from anyone under 18 years of age in compliance with COPPA (Children’s Online Privacy Protection Act) and the GDPR (General Data Protection Regulation of the EU). Our Website and its content is directed to individuals who are at least 18 years old or older.

Notification of Changes
We may use your Personal Data, such as your contact information, to inform you of changes to the Website or its content, or, if requested, to send you additional information about us. We reserve the right, at our sole discretion, to change, modify, or otherwise alter our Website, its content, and this Privacy Policy at any time. Such changes and/or modifications shall become effective immediately upon posting our updated Privacy Policy. Please review this Privacy Policy periodically. Continued use of any of information obtained through or on the Website or its content following the posting of changes and/or modifications constituted acceptance of the revised Privacy Policy. Should there be a material change to our Privacy Policy, we will contact you via email or by a prominent note on our Website.

Data Controller and Processors
We are the data controllers as we are collecting and using your Personal Data. We use trusted third parties as our data processors for technical and organizational purposes, including for payments and email marketing. We use reasonable efforts to make sure our data processors are GDPR-compliant.If you have any questions about this Privacy Policy, please contact us at graeme@graemeseabrook.com

Last Updated: January 2025

The Shame Of Wanting

What the hell is so wrong with just wanting things?
January 16, 2025

This was originally published on my blog between 2012 and 2020. 

“You can pay now, or you can pay later,” my therapist says that to me. A LOT. I’m the type of person who sees my needs as inconveniences, and my wants as things I must earn. And so I push, and hustle, and push some more until eventually I break.

Because I’m human and as much as I’d like to, I can’t just push past the things I need without eventually paying for it.

Sound familiar?

And so I’ve been working, for years, simply on noticing the things I need and saying them out loud. Sometimes that’s all the impetus it takes for me to actually fulfill my needs. When you hear yourself saying, “I need to eat lunch” over and over eventually you open the fridge.

But what about the things I want?

That word is so loaded for me. WANT. It’s frivolous. It’s selfish. It’s decadent and wrong and illicit. It’s for other people. It’s for children.

I think it might be my next tattoo.

There are things that moms are supposed to want: for our children to be happy and healthy, to get good grades, to be good friends, and for them to ever, EVER actually listen to a word we say.

But what if I want to sleep in? And not just to sleep in, but to sleep all day? What if I want a day off? What if I want a day off REGULARLY? What if I want rest and peace and soft blankets and dark rooms and quiet music and deep baths?

And candles?

And cake?

And yummy smells?

What if I want to read a book for fun and not to learn anything?

What if I want to have a sleepover with my friends and eat chocolate chip cookie dough and pizza and watch a ridiculous movie and giggle like we haven’t since we were young?

There’s the rub, for me. Wanting is scandalous enough, but wanting something freely, wanting without offering anything in return, wanting without achievement first — that is sacrilege.

I have been in a battle with my hormones ever since I turned forty earlier this year and the progesterone in my system decided to pack up and walk off the job. For me this has meant near-crippling anxiety, daily panic attacks, insomnia, and nightmares. I have a fantastic doctor who has been helping me regulate this, but it’s a process. Most of the time, now, I’m good. But last week was a shit-show.

I had night after night of nightmares, which led to insomnia, which led to panic attacks and highly anxious days. Sunday night was more painful than I can explain here. On Monday morning when I saw how full my calendar was for Tuesday through Saturday, I made a radical decision. I took the day off. Totally and completely off.

I got back in bed. I watched Netflix. I dozed. When the nightmares came back I took a THC/CBD gummy in the hopes that I could sleep through them or just not have them. Every decision I made was in the interest of my own comfort.

EVERY DECISION I MADE WAS IN THE INTEREST OF MY OWN COMFORT.

As I started to feel better, the guilt and shame crept in. How dare I enjoy any of this? I beat it back by reminding myself that I was doing this today so that I could work for the rest of the week. And then I paused and wondered — what the hell is so wrong with just wanting things?

Yes, I needed to get my sleep back on track and my anxiety under control so that I could work the rest of the week. And also — why did I feel the need to rationalize wanting a break? Why did I have to justify wanting to spend a day in bed with things that make me feel good?

Isn’t is human to want comfort? If so, why does shame lie?

Isn’t it human to want? So why is shame telling me otherwise?

My son is six and he struggles with anxiety. Part of how it manifests is in him hinting about the things he wants instead of asking. I remind him daily, “Ask for what you want, kiddo, just ask”. I remind him that he can’t control whether or not we’ll allow the thing (or give him the thing), but that we always want him to ask.

I never, ever shame him for wanting. So why do I shame myself?

My daughter will be four next month. When she wants something and we say no she’ll reply with, “But pweeeeease! I WANT IT!” — as if the problem lies in us not understanding the depth of her desire. I usually reply with, “I know that you want ________, but my answer is no because ___________”. I know that acknowledging her wants is so important. A few weeks ago she broke down crying because she’s three and can’t understand that simply wanting isn’t enough to change my mind about whether or not it’s safe for her to climb to the top of the refrigerator. I held her while she raged at me and cried and I said, “It’s hard to want things, huh? I’m so sorry it hurts”.

I really should stop making tiny copies of myself.

Or maybe I should offer myself the same compassion and grace I offer them. I give them the things and experiences that they want when I can. I don’t ask them to justify their desires.

Isn’t it human to want?

My wants and desires are valid no matter how frivolous they may seem.

My wants and desires are valid even if they inconvenience my husband.

My wants and desires are valid even if they cannot be fulfilled now (or ever).

My wants and desires are valid.

I AM ALLOWED TO WANT THINGS.

And so are you.

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