ABOUT
You understand the websites (WholeHumanMama.com and GraemeSeabrook.com) are not claiming Graeme Seabrook is an agent, publicist, accountant, financial planner, lawyer, therapist, or any other licensed or registered professional. You may not rely on any information on this site as individual advice.
WholeHumanMama.com and GraemeSeabrook.com is not directive advice, counseling, or therapy. The services provided by Graeme Seabrook, et al may address overall goals, specific projects, or general conditions in a client's life or profession. Coaching services may include setting priorities, establishing goals, identifying resources, brainstorming, creating action plans, strategizing, asking clarifying questions, and providing models, examples, and in-the-moment skills training.
None of the presenters/writers/contributors act as a therapist providing psychoanalysis, psychological counseling, or behavioral therapy. User understands WholeHumanMama.com and GraemeSeabrook.com will not prescribe or assess micro and macronutrient levels; provide health care, medical or nutrition therapy services; or diagnose, treat or cure any disease, condition or other physical or mental ailment of the human body. User understands if they should experience any such issues they should see their registered physician or other practitioner as determined by their own judgment.
If the User is under the care of a health care professional or currently uses prescription medications, User should discuss any dietary changes or potential dietary supplements use with their doctor, and should not discontinue any prescription medications without first consulting their doctor. User understands the information on WholeHumanMama.com and GraemeSeabrook.com is NOT medical or nursing advice and is not meant to take the place of seeing licensed health professionals.
There are no refunds for products or services purchased from WholeHumanMama.com and GraemeSeabrook.com, et al.
WholeHumanMama.com and GraemeSeabrook.com is owned by Graeme Seabrook (“Company”, “we”, or “us”). The term “you” refers to the user or viewer of WholeHumanMama.com and GraemeSeabrook.com (“Website”).
This Privacy Policy describes how we collect, use, process, and distribute your information, including Personal Data (as defined below) used to access this Website. We will not use or share your information with anyone except as described in this Privacy Policy. The use of information collected through our Sites shall be limited to the purposes under this Privacy Policy and our Terms of Service to customers.
Please read this Privacy Policy carefully. We reserve the right to change this Privacy Policy on the Website at any time without notice. In the event of a material change, we will let you know via email and/or a prominent notice on our Website.
Use of any personal information or contribution that you provide to us, or which is collected by us on or through our Website or its content is governed by this Privacy Policy. By using our Website or its content, you consent to this Privacy Policy, whether or not you have read it.
Information We May Collect
We collect personal information from you so that we can provide you with a positive experience when utilizing our Website or content. We will only collect the minimum amount of information necessary for us to fulfill our obligation to you. We may collect:
Please note that the information above (“Personal Data”) that you are giving to us is voluntarily, and by providing this information to us, you are giving consent for us to use, collect, and process this Personal Data. You are welcome to opt-out or request for us to delete your Personal Data at any point by contacting us at graeme@graemeseabrook.com
If you choose not to provide us with certain Personal Data, you may not be able to participate in certain aspects of our Website or content.
Other Information We May Collect:
Anonymous Data Collection and Use
To maintain Website quality, we may use your IP address to help diagnose problems with our server, to administer the Website by identifying which areas of the Website are most heavily used, and to display content according to your preferences. Your IP address is the number assigned to computers connected to the Internet. This is essentially “traffic data” which cannot personally identify you but is helpful to us for marketing purposes and for improving our services. Traffic data collection does not follow a user’s activities on any other websites in any way. Anonymous traffic data may also be shared with business partners and advertisers on an aggregate basis.
Use of “Cookies”
We may use the standard “cookies” feature of major web browsers. We do not set any personally identifiable information in cookies, nor do we employ any data-capture mechanisms on our Website other than cookies. You may choose to disable cookies through your own web browser’s settings. However, disabling this function may diminish your experience on our Website and some features may not work as intended.
What We Do With Information We Collect
Contact You
We may contact you with information that you provide to us based on these lawful grounds for processing:
Process Payments
We will use the Personal Data you give to us in order to process your payment for the purchase of goods or services under a contract. We only use third party payment processors that take the utmost care in securing data and comply with the GDPR.
Targeted Social Media Advertisements
We may use the data you provide to us to run social media advertisements and / or create look-alike audiences for advertisements.
Share with Third Parties
We may share your information with trusted third parties such as our newsletter provider in order to contact you via email, our merchant accounts to process payments, and Google / social media accounts in order to run advertisements and our affiliates.
Viewing by Others
Note that whenever you voluntarily make your Personal Data available for viewing by others online through this Website or its content, it may be seen, collected and used by others, and therefore, we cannot be responsible for any unauthorized or improper use of the information that you voluntarily share (i.e., sharing a comment on a blog post, posting in a Facebook group that we manage, sharing details on a group coaching call, etc.).
Submission, Storage, Sharing and Transferring of Personal Data
Personal Data that you provide to us is stored internally or through a data management system. Your Personal Data will only be accessed by those who help to obtain, manage, or store that information, or who have a legitimate need to know such Personal Data (i.e., our hosting provider, newsletter provider, payment processors, or team members).
It is important to note that we may transfer data internationally. For users in the European Union, please be aware that we transfer Personal Data outside of the European Union. By using our Website and providing us with your Personal Data, you consent to these transfers in accordance with this Privacy Policy.
Data Retention
We retain your Personal Data for the minimum amount of time necessary to provide you with the information and / or services that you requested from us. We may include certain Personal Data for longer periods of time if necessary for legal, contractual, and accounting obligations.
Confidentiality
We aim to keep the Personal Data that you share with us confidential. Please note that we may disclose such information if required to do so by law or in the good-faith belief that: (1) such action is necessary to protect and defend our rights or property or those of our users or licensees, (2) to act as immediately necessary in order to protect the personal safety or rights of our users or the public, or (3) to investigate or respond to any real or perceived violation of this Privacy Policy or of our Disclaimer, Terms and Conditions, or any other terms of use or agreement with us.
Passwords
To use certain features of the Website or its content, you may need a username and password. You are responsible for maintaining the confidentiality of the username and password, and you are responsible for all activities, whether by you or by others, that occur under your username or password and within your account. We cannot and will not be liable for any loss or damage arising from your failure to protect your username, password, or account information. If you share your username or password with others, they may be able to obtain access to your Personal Data at your own risk.
You agree to notify us immediately of any unauthorized or improper use of your username or password or any other breach of security. To help protect against unauthorized or improper use, make sure that you log out at the end of each session requiring your username and password.
We will use our best efforts to keep your username and password(s) private and will not otherwise share your password(s) without your consent, except as necessary when the law requires it or in the good faith belief that such action is necessary, particularly when disclosure is necessary to identify, contact, or bring legal action against someone who may be causing injury to others or interfering with our rights or property.
How You Can Access, Update, or Delete Your Personal Data
You have the right to:
You may unsubscribe from our emails or updates at any time through the unsubscribe link at the footer of all email communications. If you have questions or are experiencing problems unsubscribing, please contact us at graeme@graemeseabrook.com
Security
We take commercially reasonable steps to protect the Personal Data you provide to us from misuse, disclosure, or unauthorized access. We only share your Personal Data with trusted third parties who use the same level of care in processing your Personal Data. That being said, we cannot guarantee that your Personal Data will always be secure due to technology or security breaches. Should there be a data breach of which we are aware, we will inform you immediately.
Anti-Spam Policy
We have a no spam policy and provide you with the ability to opt-out of our communications by selecting the unsubscribe link at the footer of all emails. We have taken the necessary steps to ensure that we are compliant with the CAN-SPAM Act of 2003 by never sending out misleading information. We will not sell, rent, or share your email address.
Third Party Websites
We may link to other websites on our Website. We have no responsibility or liability for the content and activities of any other individual, company, or entity whose website or materials may be linked to our Website or its content, and thus we cannot be held liable for the privacy of the information on their website or that you voluntarily share with their website. Please review their privacy policies for guidelines as to how they respectively store, use, and protect the privacy of your Personal Data.
Children’s Online Privacy Protection Act Compliance
We do not collect any information from anyone under 18 years of age in compliance with COPPA (Children’s Online Privacy Protection Act) and the GDPR (General Data Protection Regulation of the EU). Our Website and its content is directed to individuals who are at least 18 years old or older.
Notification of Changes
We may use your Personal Data, such as your contact information, to inform you of changes to the Website or its content, or, if requested, to send you additional information about us. We reserve the right, at our sole discretion, to change, modify, or otherwise alter our Website, its content, and this Privacy Policy at any time. Such changes and/or modifications shall become effective immediately upon posting our updated Privacy Policy. Please review this Privacy Policy periodically. Continued use of any of information obtained through or on the Website or its content following the posting of changes and/or modifications constituted acceptance of the revised Privacy Policy. Should there be a material change to our Privacy Policy, we will contact you via email or by a prominent note on our Website.
Data Controller and Processors
We are the data controllers as we are collecting and using your Personal Data. We use trusted third parties as our data processors for technical and organizational purposes, including for payments and email marketing. We use reasonable efforts to make sure our data processors are GDPR-compliant.If you have any questions about this Privacy Policy, please contact us at graeme@graemeseabrook.com
Last Updated: January 2025
This was originally published on my old blog between 2012 and 2020.
Melissa Harris-Perry wrote an article for Elle.com about self-care that has a lot of people talking. When I first saw mention of it I was excited — finally, someone with clout was going to talk about self-care for Black women! Then I read the pull quote at the top of the piece. I'm not sure what I was expecting but this was not it:
I REFUSE TO ACCEPT THAT SELF-CARE IS NECESSARY FOR HEALTH AND WELL-BEING.
Ummm... whaaaaaa?
Eating well isn't necessary?
Showering isn't necessary?
Valuing yourself isn't necessary?
Paying bills.
Going to the doctor.
Going to the therapist.
Drinking water.
Exercising.
Acknowledging your dreams, hopes, and desires. Working towards them.
Setting boundaries.
Surely she believes those things are necessary for health and well-being, I thought. Surely she is not going to write an article in a magazine with a reach like Elle, and be another voice telling us to look outside ourselves for validation.
And she isn't, exactly.
For Harris-Perry it was the love, strength, and straight talk of her girlfriends that she credits with saving her life. I don't argue that being true. As someone who has worked in peer-support for five years and been a woman for 38, I can testify to the power of a circle of girlfriends.
The trap I believe she fell into in this piece is the same trap that millions of women around the world have found themselves in — she let Instagram replace Merriam-Webster. "Distilled into bath bombs and marketed to the consumer class, self-care can come off as a collection of hipster luxury items—a visible manifestation of excess time and resources spent massaging trigger points and pushing back cuticles."
The thing that she missed? NONE OF THOSE THINGS ARE SELF-CARE. It is, quite literally, taking care of yourself. That can mean physically, mentally, emotionally, or spiritually. It can mean nurturing a relationship like the beautiful friendship that saved her life. It can (and hopefully does) also mean nurturing that kind of relationship with ourselves. It means learning about ourselves and what we truly need, what makes us happy, what makes us strong. It means asking for those things from our community.
Self-care does not mean isolation. It does not mean disconnection. It does not mean that we only get what we can give ourselves. Harris-Perry writes, "Ultimately, self-care encourages women to rely solely on themselves rather than to make demands on anyone or anything else." And that line made me unutterably sad. Because ultimately what self-care actually does is highlight our need for healthy connection.
The more I learn about myself, how my brain works, how my heart works, what my soul needs — the more I learn about the value of the friendships in my life. We care for each other, deeply. We have saved each other's lives. We also remind each other regularly that we matter. That we are full human beings who are allowed to focus on our own wants, needs, and desires. We remind each other to ask for what we need. We remind each other of our intrinsic magic. Those reminders are self-care. We are literally reminding each other to think of ourselves. It is the foundation of self-care.
"Self-care validates as good and noble all of those women with sufficient resources to "take a break" from the hustle and bustle while it censures those who seek relief from the collective care of the state—through child care subsidies, food assistance, low-income or subsidized housing, or health care."
No. Instagram #selfcare does that.
Actual self-care centers the person and insists that we recognize our needs as valid. Each of us. All of us. Applying for Medicaid was one of the biggest acts of self-care that I ever took. It allowed me to get medical care for myself and my son while I was pregnant. It allowed me to get psychiatric care when I suffered from postpartum depression and anxiety.
Applying for SNAP benefits is self-care. Creating a crowdfunding campaign is self-care. Dropping your PayPal link on Facebook is self-care. Asking for what you need. Knowing your needs matter and allowing your community to help meet them IS SELF CARE. It is you, taking care of yourself by reaching out.
I can't tell you how many times I have heard a mother say, "I would never ask this for myself, but my child needs..." Oh, mama, no. YOU are worthy. Always and in all ways. Practicing self-care is knowing that you can ask for yourself. That you are worthy of love, of care, of support, and of community. When Harris-Perry talks of #SquadCare vs Self-Care she misses something big.
For a Black woman to practice self-care we must first see ourselves as fully human and deserving of care in a world that sees us as neither and actively denies us the tools to care for ourselves.
To be a Black woman engaged in self-care is a radical act.
To learn about ourselves, understand ourselves, care for ourselves, take up space, survive and fucking thrive is revolutionary.
When I say self-care, that is what I mean.
I have an intimate squad of amazing women. I also have a Self-Care Squad of just over 1200 women who are defining what self-care is to them. Harris-Perry proudly declared that she doesn't have a self-care routine. I don't either, but I do have a self-care practice that includes:
Those are all a part of my self-care routine. They are all things I do alone. They are all things that no one else can do for me. I'm a good friend to many women, and I'm working on being a good friend to myself as well.
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Suspendisse varius enim in eros elementum tristique. Duis cursus, mi quis viverra ornare, eros dolor interdum nulla, ut commodo diam libero vitae erat. Aenean faucibus nibh et justo cursus id rutrum lorem imperdiet. Nunc ut sem vitae risus tristique posuere. uis cursus, mi quis viverra ornare, eros dolor interdum nulla, ut commodo diam libero vitae erat. Aenean faucibus nibh et justo cursus id rutrum lorem imperdiet. Nunc ut sem vitae risus tristique posuere.
Delete